Wednesday, November 17, 2010

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Yesterday at breakfast, I ate two fortune cookies along with some dried fruit. It has been brought to my attention by my coworkers that eating fortune cookies is ridiculous anytime, let alone eating them for breakfast. One person even said she would be happy to feed me a folded manila folder since it probably tastes the same.

Beyond that, I had a very strange experience. Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of my fortunes, so you will just have to believe me. I am at work right now*, looking directly at them, so I'm a pretty trustworthy source.

*disclaimer: Yes, I am at work, but our email system is down. That basically means I have nothing to do. Stop judging me!

Anyway, I have these two fortunes.

The first one says: Do you see difficulty behind every opportunity, or opportunity behind every difficulty?

Standard. Not really a fortune but standard.

The second one, on the other hand, says: If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto.

Yes. It literally says that. Nope, no typos on my end. That's right, they are missing a verb, among other things.

Also, if I am interpreting the meaning of the message correctly, how in the hell would I get the fortune without breaking the cookie? I mean, maybe the chances of not breaking the cookie and still getting the fortune are also 1 in 1 million bajillion, which is why you may as well try out the lotto.

Also again, it is not very specific. Telling me to "buy lotto" is not helpful. If I could win the lotto because of this fortune, I need to know how. Which game should I play? If it's a scratch off, do I choose the one in the middle or the one on the right? If it involves choosing numbers, what numbers should I choose? Am I supposed to use the ones on the back of the fortune? (If YOU want to try it, go for 4, 54, 39, 52, 51, 56).

Most importantly, if I use those numbers, will I find myself on a Pacific island populated by sketchy characters ranging from polar bears to smoke monsters to Evangeline Lily after a dramatic plane crash?

In the end, it probably doesn't matter. I didn't even read the fortune until after I'd eaten half of the cookie. Oh the opportunities I miss when I'm hungry...

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