Secret Bird Meeting

I have a real full-time job now (!) and so I do things like drive to work every day. Now that I am driving all around, I see even more cool things. The main problem is that I am not always able to take a picture in time to capture the coolness that is occurring all around me. In this case, I was just leaving the parking lot at work and was able to stop momentarily to document this momentous event:

SECRET BIRD MEETING!!!!

That's right friends. All of those little black things in the grass and on the sidewalk are birds! There they are, 100 ft from my office, having a snack, shooting the shit and planning their unified worldwide attack on the human race.

I have known about these meetings for a while, but have yet to see them occur. I have seen the birds getting ready for them and I have obviously seen the Alfred Hitchcock movie, but this was a real-life experience!

Don't look at me like that. You know it's true. You've seen it coming all along in the beady eyes of songbirds, the creepy yellow irises of seagulls and the strangely poignant remarks of parrots. But don't worry -- they could never beat us alone. Now, if they formed a coalition with those devious squirrels, that would be another story.

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Yesterday at breakfast, I ate two fortune cookies along with some dried fruit. It has been brought to my attention by my coworkers that eating fortune cookies is ridiculous anytime, let alone eating them for breakfast. One person even said she would be happy to feed me a folded manila folder since it probably tastes the same.

Beyond that, I had a very strange experience. Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of my fortunes, so you will just have to believe me. I am at work right now*, looking directly at them, so I'm a pretty trustworthy source.

*disclaimer: Yes, I am at work, but our email system is down. That basically means I have nothing to do. Stop judging me!

Anyway, I have these two fortunes.

The first one says: Do you see difficulty behind every opportunity, or opportunity behind every difficulty?

Standard. Not really a fortune but standard.

The second one, on the other hand, says: If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto.

Yes. It literally says that. Nope, no typos on my end. That's right, they are missing a verb, among other things.

Also, if I am interpreting the meaning of the message correctly, how in the hell would I get the fortune without breaking the cookie? I mean, maybe the chances of not breaking the cookie and still getting the fortune are also 1 in 1 million bajillion, which is why you may as well try out the lotto.

Also again, it is not very specific. Telling me to "buy lotto" is not helpful. If I could win the lotto because of this fortune, I need to know how. Which game should I play? If it's a scratch off, do I choose the one in the middle or the one on the right? If it involves choosing numbers, what numbers should I choose? Am I supposed to use the ones on the back of the fortune? (If YOU want to try it, go for 4, 54, 39, 52, 51, 56).

Most importantly, if I use those numbers, will I find myself on a Pacific island populated by sketchy characters ranging from polar bears to smoke monsters to Evangeline Lily after a dramatic plane crash?

In the end, it probably doesn't matter. I didn't even read the fortune until after I'd eaten half of the cookie. Oh the opportunities I miss when I'm hungry...