Teaching the youth of America important truths

I was teaching an after-school program at this elementary school in Easton in their gym. First of all, Easton is very picturesque and full of wealthy white people. One time I tried to grab lunch before my class and found that there are exactly 0 gas stations and 0 fast food establishments, if that gives you any idea of the kind of community we are talking about here.

Anyway, I'm getting ready for my class, aka putting out LEGOs, when I see that there are a bunch of posters on the wall. They are, of course, about gym-related things like "There's no I in TEAM" and "Winning is trying your hardest." The posters all feature these "diverse" cartoonish children fulfilling the mantra stated above their heads. The more I looked at these lessons in sportsmanship, however, the more disturbed I got.

I have included the most disturbing poster of all here:

I have to start by pointing out how unrealistic and ridiculous this is for multiple reasons.

1. What children play golf? Especially without their parents forcing them to.
2. What black people play golf? (Besides Tiger Woods)
3. What black people play golf with Asian people?
4. Why is the black child wearing a low-cut v-neck shirt when he has no chest hair yet to creepily force the world to stare at with disgust?
5. Who bothers to go golfing but also needs a book of rules with them?
6. What children read sports rules? As far as I remember, we just made up our own. Like, "That's cheating because you stepped first with your left foot instead of your right after you spun three times around the oak tree" (read: that's cheating because I'm losing)
7. Is this a gay golf tournament? Oh, I just realized that they are members of the rainbow connection.

Beyond these pressing questions I have to ask the obvious:

Why is the Asian girl yellow?

All the other children were more realistic colors. For instance, the white children were peachy-beige, not white. Maybe I just missed the memo that Asian people are actually yellow.

All the other children also have rosy cheeks. Asian people don't have cheeks? OR EYEBALLS? This girl is the only kid on any of the posters without whites of her eyes.

So the truths we are teaching our children through these posters include (but are not limited to)

• Everyone has the means and motivation to play golf.
• Black children wish only for chest hair.
• Asian children are zombies.