My blinds grew hair!
I don't really know how this happened. All I know is that one minute my blinds were bald, and the next they were furry.
I was in an assembly line for a buffet-style lunch and found a sign that said "CAT ME! [smiley dot]." I wasn't sure who "me" was. Was I supposed to cat a person? Was I supposed to cat the food? And how does one cat?
Paintings came to life!
This is a dog playing cards. You can see that he also has a beer. The Gatorade is definitely an inconsistency with the painting, but let's just call this a modern version.
My brother told me that my mom was taking us on narwhal rides in California. I knew it was a lie. Then some friends didn't believe that narwhals existed (unicorns of the ocean). THEN a narwhal was smiling at me from the inside flap of my box of candy cane green tea. This whole narwhal thing definitely means something.
My food smiled at me!
I know that California is supposed to be sunny and happy or something, but I had no idea that even food smiled!
I saw a man on the subway in NYC hiding something behind his back on the subway. Terrifying, right? The plaid shorts tipped me off, so I knew I had to find out what he was hiding. Then I discovered that it was an apple-shaped device of some sort. I wish I could tell you what the device did, but I booked it out of that train immediately.
And the scariest happening of all...
...is that people actually want Justin Bieber to sing to them from a toothbrush. Each plays two songs, and there are two different versions.
To be fair, I considered buying one of these as a gift for my sister. It is one of my greatest regrets in life that I did not.
A series of very strange things have been happening around me. I can say with confidence that this all means something, but I am not sure what exactly. My gut says these are all precursors to the zombie apocalypse, but my heart says it could be robots instead.
Oh man, I would brush my teeth so much more with a Justin Beiber toothbrush
ReplyDeleteOK so, yeah. I had no reason to come across your page. Maybe it is because I am drunk. Maybe it is because it is before noon. Maybe it is because I am supposed to be at school and I am instead drinking wine in a closet hiding from my girlfriend who was also supposed to be doing something today but is obviously still in my house doing something entirely different whilst assuming I am at school and not drunk in the closet with a laptop. Either way I feel like I was supposed to read this today, and I am still not sure why.
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